Families of addicts

This morning while watching the news there was a story, again, about Amy Winehouse and what her father said at her funeral.  He called her his angel or something like that.  From the couch Jon says, very sarcastically "Yeah, well Amy Winehouse was on crack!".  Jon tends to talk about the goings on of the world and he has very little knowledge of what is really happening.  He listens to me and Grant voice our opinion and will take them on as his own.  The old saying "You know not of what you speak" comes to mind.  Jon is just trying to be part of the conversation and prove that he's paying attention to world events and so on.  This morning though, this comment bothered me.  Jon didn't really know Laura well because by the time he was born she was well in to her addiction and I did what I needed to do to keep him safe and sheltered him from her.  So he didn't/doesn't know what we, as a family, went through with her addiction.  I turned the tv volume off and explained to him that no matter what Amy Winehouse's problems were she was still someone's daughter, sister and friend and all of those people still loved her.  Drugs didn't make her father love her any less.  Jon is just a kid and he doesn't understand.  I will sit down with him and talk some about Laura and what she went through.  I want him to understand that addicts don't just hurt themselves.  They hurt everyone who loves them.  Addiction doesn't just kill the addict, it kills a little of each family member too.  Laura was an addict but first and foremost, she was my sister and I love her.  Even in her deepest, darkest pit, I loved her.

Amy Winehouse

Since hearing that singer Amy Winehouse passed away, I've been thinking a lot.  I wasn't really a fan of her music, in fact I had to really think of one of her songs.  The only one that came to mind was "Rehab".  Her death was one of those things that people were expecting and I'm sure a lot of people weren't surprised about.  I know I wasn't.  But it is sad.  Sad that she was so young.  Sad that she couldn't pull herself out of her addiction.  It has made fresh so many memories of watching Laura fight and struggle with her addiction.  It's so heart wrenching to watch someone you love be consumed by addiction.  The person they were falls away and they become someone nearly unrecognizable.  You try to fight the battle for them but it's not yours to fight.  So many times I went to battle against the monster that had such a deep hold on Laura.  So many times my family went to battle.  Every time we lost.  Don't get me wrong, Laura fought too.  She tried so many times.  So many times.  There were times where I could really see she wanted to get away from her captor but each time, she was pulled back in.  Deeper.



I've seen stories online asking the question "Why didn't someone help Amy Winehouse more?"  Once again, it's not our battle to fight.  You can help, pray, talk, listen, cry...  Only the addicted is the one who can win.  Actor Russell Brand said something that really hit home to me.  He said sometimes people in these addictions don't know there is someone out there to help them.  I agree/disagree.  Laura knew we were there but had gotten to a point where she thought she had burned all her bridges with us.  She hadn't.  Brand said "All they have to do is pick up the phone and make the call.  Or not.  Either way, there will be a phone call."  I remember that final call.  I knew it was coming.