This is the beginning

I've had a blog before (I think) but never really did anything with it. I keep up with a few other blogs and am always entertained, enlightened and impressed by these people who let us into their worlds. So, here I am, starting my own blog.

So much has been happening in my life these last few months and there are times where I have a lot of thoughts in my head that I need to get out and that's why I'm here.

Today I am thinking a lot about my sister Laura. She died. Friday will be 2 months and I still have to tell myself "Laura died" and I bring up the memory of seeing her for the first time in a casket. I still can't believe it most of the time. She had many problems and I always feared I'd get a call one day letting me know she was gone, but I never actually thought it would happen. Does that make sense? The way she died weighs so heavy on my heart. There is still so much left unexplained about her death. One thing I am certain of, she did not kill herself. We are fighting to bring the man who did this to her to justice, but we have learned that the wheels of justice turn slow and we have the added battle of proving that she wasn't just another crazy drug addict. I want to scream from the rooftops "_____ killed my sister!". Right now I feel like no one is listening. The case is being investigated and we're being told what can and can't be proven and it just makes me sad because there is documentation, in her own words, of the hell she'd been living in the last year and a half of her life. I continue to pray for the people trying to build a case and for my family. I continue to pray that I give this all to God and that I let HIS will be done. It's so hard.

So this is how I feel today. My mood matches the cool, wet weather outside. Maybe the heavens are crying for me today, because all my tears are spent right now.